As a computer programmer I have wrapped my brain around a certain logic…if (this) then (this). But here’s the thing, real life doesn’t work that way. There is no logic.
Maybe that’s why we invented computers to begin with, to make something work the way we want (read ‘expect’) things to work. I remember some wise people telling me once that the things that make us unhappy are our ‘expectations’. I’m thinking it’s time to write all my ‘expectations’ down on little slips of paper then crumple them up and throw then in a garbage can, because that’s really about how valuable they are.
Life, people, love…it’s all just a big roulette wheel, a roller coaster, a ride you take with eyes closed, gasping for air, and hoping you come out wanting to go again instead of throwing up. If (this), then (this). Nope. That’s not human, it’s silicon and solder, not flesh and blood. We are not computers; we are not robots. We build those and even they can break, just like our hearts.
I’ll just take the “E” ticket please… and maybe a Dramamine. The ride isn’t over until we die and I’m still breathing, laughing and sometimes, yeah, even getting sick, but still strapped in, watching as the next big hill looms in front of me.
Barely Running 
Despite there are many humane choices and preferences which are hard to be explained…but eventually we find that they follow a certain logic…such as love…it has its own step by step way..a simple glance..then talking..and its perfectly humane 😀